The lecture notes are thick, but the initiative is thin.

It has been in the study week, but yet, things are not going well. The mood of study is not tense, the living style is deviated, and the self-motivation is fading away...

My house couldn't access to internet due to some installation problem. So ended up study and online at McD. Beside was the picture captured during the time at McD.

The will I can fully concentrate myself on notes is getting less. This is a bad sign. Undeniable, the intention for me to get better result is getting less and less. Once you realize that almost all the things you learn in university are hardly applied to the real society, you will no longer got that motivation. Study is inevitable for a student. But still, I know I'm going to learn more things other than academic stuff, and this makes me become moodless on studying.

Haiz... Really trying to get back to the study mood. But, where is my motivation?

The lecture notes are thick, but the initiative is thin.

I really have to seriously think to myself.

When every time I said to myself: "It's time to study."

No doubt there is another voice behind my head saying that: "You have to memorize those bored and rigid theories. Are you sure you can apply what you have memorized? Is this really what you want?

Then I'll say to myself: "Why I'm here to do all these?!"

Hold on, when I get studied in university, I learnt things. Then why I'm here? To learn things!

Am I doing all these to learn things? Yea, I'm, then why I'm not interested in studying? Now I see, it's because of the things I learned not very suit me. That is why...

I think I have to be clear, there is no perfect place to give offers for you to learn everything as you wish... Am I right?

With different places and different people, we then deal with different things and people. Everything that surrounds you isn't gonna go the way as you like but as they are. They only make changes according to their nature of balance.

Well, we then got no point of blaming them. Now I see, I'm blaming the things I'm studying. I'm finding excuses to run away from the hard time. I'm becoming very bad.

Look at the window, out there are the things that aren't gonna to take changes for me. But I always have choices to make inside window here.

I wanted to stand strong when one day I go outside the window. There are my dreams out there, there are journeys which I wanted and there are something waiting for me to achieve one day. If today I don't prepare a way for them, if today I still live with weak determination, if today I'm lazy and moodless, the day will never come.

If today I'm still blaming on such a little small thing, the "something" out there will be saying that:

It's your choice...

It's okay if you say NO. I would have just disappeared...

But if u say YES, then I'm yours...

Yea, it's my choice... :-) I know what I'll choose... :-D

The lecture notes are thick, but my dreams are indispensable!!!