Busy, busy and busy making me no time to write blog recently... Somehow, this is my space to talk to myself... I have to come back here and have some inner talks.
I have lived on the earth for 21 years... I'm organism, living thing, homo sapiens... hahax.. sure everyone knows... But the point is, as a species of homo sapiens, we know actually what we are doing?
I have been observing so called life on this earth for over 21 years. And even i put so many feelings into it. It's totally undescribable.
Tonight, a silent nite... I didn't know why i couldn't get into sleep since i tried to sleep from 11.30pm until this moment. My mind is full of things. Maybe this is moment for me get my mind rest from the progressive time line. Everything just stop for me for a while.
I used to describe so called life since I was small, the only answer i could get was: Life is point of view. But now, the answet is just one part of it. Maybe...
Along this 21 years on the earth, I have gone through too much of things which are uncountable. I crept since I was baby, walked and then run; I suffered beating from parents; I cried; I lost to myself; surrundered to things against me; gave up music, gave up basketball, gave up too many things; too many things I failed to try; losing too many chances; I loved and being loved; I hurt someone and being hurt by someone; sometimes hurt until my hands were paralyzed shaking at the middle of the night; loved girls for years; went to seaside with family, very enjoyed; played guitar with my cousin; jamming with my best friends; first time performed on the stage, first time entered university life; first time to have motorcycle; first time facing serious accident with left leg's bone fractured; cried at the middle of the night for uncountable times; first to have own blog; first moving out from house and live alone out there; living with philosophy since small; having unique thoughts since born, had my first love since standard five; few girlfriends until now, new best friends; new memories; bought first electric guitar for RM 1250; firs time going out to work with dad at form three; drove lorry since form three; always argue with my sister since small until now; first time went to real concert that was Avril Lavigne's concert at KL; received gifts through birthday; chased by many girls; lost some memorable friends; being a school class teacher for standard one at PoiLam; being a clerk at development company; worked as promoter before; composed own songs; love cute things since small; since small, I loved the things which girls would like, e.g. dolldom; like to eat wantanmee since small; being more matured than others during secondary school; being a gangster when I was at the beginning of seconday school; I smoked before; I turned from a bad boy to a neutral boy; from losing out the study career until gaining back; learnt how to swim from my dad; learnt how to drive from ym dad; observed my dad how to survive in this society; observed myself how to live on from time to time; being hurt by girl until wanted to jump from high building to death; had elder sister before, but with sad ending; being a vice president of guitar club; studied form 6 at ACS; just for particular girl, cried for her almost every single night; get deep realization from mind night crying; being tougher of myself; being helpfull; being scheming; being selfish; being sincere; being considerable; being cool; being nice; being polite; being mature; being spoiled-manner; being danger; being horrible; being sweet; being down; being regret; being happy; being cheerful; being energytic; being sleepy; being stressed; being relax; being passion; being enjoyed; being scolded; being nature; being myself; being others; being unknown; gone through several stages of life; change from a kind of person to another kind of person; changing until this moment, living until this moment, awake until this moment, observe until this moment, realizing until this moment, having inner talks until this moment, there are too many uncoutable things that are in my life...
21 years; this figure is not very big, but not small also. I can do many things but also can do nothing along these years...
After I lived on the earth for 21 years, I feel that, life is a preicous ever thing I have ever met. It is three dimensionals, consists of time, space and one secret thing. I have three living principles in my life, but even after 21 years, one that is tight with me is philosophy. I do any action in my life is actually involved my own philosophy.
From now on, I will continue toughen my philosophy. Music is my living soul from time to time.
From the deepest saying, I'm still me, the same manner of thoughts when I was born in here. This is the only thing that will never changed until the end of my life. Because without this, I'm no longer me.
My phrase: 『做中學，錯中修；不要怕，不要悔。』
Binary Encoder
8 months ago
